Essence Magazine: Where Nursing Is Normal

I don't have a subscription to Essence magazine, but when the August issue came out with the lovely Nia Long on the cover, my email box blew up from moms who were excited about the article.

If you didn't know, Long gave birth to a son, Kez Sunday Udoka, in November 2011. Shortly thereafter she sat down at a local LA eatery with writer dream hampton for the cover story. Within the first few paragraphs, hampton  writes,

The restaurant is down the hill from her home in the Hollywood Hills, and halfway through the meal she orders her dish again, this time for her 12-year-old son, Massai, who so enjoys his mom's quinoa leftovers that he's asked her to bring him his own plate. As she's placing his order, a tiny wet spot on her cotton tee begins to grow. She jumps up and says with a laugh, 'I'm leaking!' She grabs her huge designer bag in which a breastpump is buried and runs to the restroom to create a carryout for her other son, her newborn, Kez.

Nia discusses everything from her time in Hollywood, to her work with a home for homeless pregnant teens in Barbados to what it's like combining motherhood and being an actress. Towards the end of the piece, breastfeeding is mentioned again in a very matter-of-fact manner when Nia breastfeeds her baby on the couch during the interview.

Like my readers I was so thrilled to see that the breastfeeding and pumping wasn't mentioned because it was unusual, or the write found her strange for doing it in front of her. It didn't even warrant any comment, either positive or negative.  It was just mentioned as a normal part of the life of a new mom, who like most of us is working while raising and caring for her kids.

I had a couple of conversations about breastfeeding with dream on Twitter around the time that she would have been writing this article. Should I take this as a personal shout out?
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Monica & Brandy "Debate" Breastfeeding

I typically listen to the Rickey Smiley Morning Show on my way to work, but I missed an episode recently when R&B singers Monica and Brandy were in the studio and discussed nursing in public (shout out to my friend Kate for the heads up).

After listening to the short segment, I'm glad I didn't catch it while I was driving. The foolishness on that show can be hard to take on a good day, but two nursing moms being judgmental idiots about breastfeeding in public before my coffee fix? No, ma'am.

I'm not sure how the conversation got started, but in the clip, the first thing we hear is Brandy saying that she nursed her daughter Sy'rai until she was 13months old and "That's a little long...." She goes on to say that her friends thought she was crazy and Monica says, "Yeah, if you can walk and get your juice? You better walk and get that juice, honey!"

Sigh. Where do I even begin? Thirteen months is NOT, I repeat, NOT a long time to breastfeed. A thirteen-month-old is very much still a baby in every sense of the word. And it is worth noting that the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that mothers nurse for a minimum of 12 months, and as long as mutually desired thereafter. Of course 13 months doesn't even come close to the recommended two years of breastfeeding per the World Health Organization. If Brandy breastfed for 13 months, she did so for only a few weeks longer than the bare minimum recommended amount of time. And please believe that that's not to put down any mom who doesn't make it that long for any variety of completely valid reasons. I just can't believe that we're supposed to think that just over a year of breastfeeding is "too long."

And should we break down that "walking and getting your juice" comment? Because it's tired. These arbitrary timeframes for when it's no longer appropriate to nurse a baby or toddler? I'm over it. Whether it's walking or talking or teeth....it's all bullshit. Nurse your child for as long as you want to! My son walked at 8 months. Should I have told him, "No, you can't have the best source of vitamins, proteins and fat available to you when you're hungry...please go grab a glass of juice instead." He also had teeth at 10 months, so I guess since he was such a "big boy" at that age, the only logical thing to do would have been....to give him a bottle. I mean, does this make ANY SENSE?

The rest of the audio, posted below, gets worse as they then discuss nursing in public. We're supposed to believe that they're on different sides, with Monica stating she would never nurse in a public place, while Brandy saying it's just fine as long as you use a cover. We're supposed to think Brandy is this earthy, crunchy weirdo because she put a blanket or nursing cover over her baby's head to completely cover herself while Monica is a respectable modern mom because she would leave and go hide in the car.

They're both assholes.

Hear me out. I know plenty of wonderful, breastfeeding (and formula feeding) moms who are lactivists and fully support a mom's right to nurse her baby in public, whenever, wherever, however, who personally use covers for their own comfort. I wish that we lived in a world where moms didn't need to be embarrassed to nurse in public, but I know we're not there yet. Those moms say it's not for them, but they are making decisions based on their own comfort levels, not on anyone else's, and want you to be able to do the same. Brandy and Monica are not those moms. Requiring a mom to cover up to appease your own discomfort with her breastfeeding is not support. Requiring a mom to leave a picnic in the park with her family to breastfeed her baby in the car is not support. If you say you support breastfeeding and add a disclaimer about privacy or covers or pumped milk in a bottle? You don't support breastfeeding.

I'm so tired of women holding themselves up as model breastfeeders because they do the "decent" thing and cover up or hide when they need to feed their babies. I'm so sick of celebrities, particularly black women, who could be fantastic role models for breastfeeding blowing it over and over. I'm so over folks acting like how or when a woman breastfeeds her baby is an actual question that is up for debate. It's your legal right to breastfeed your baby in public. At what other time do we slap up polls on websites and TV shows and discuss whether or not people should do something they already have the right to do?

I'm done with the nonsnse. Thankfully we won't have to hear much more debating from these two since they couldn't even get along long enough to go on their scheduled tour. I can't say I'm disappointed.


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Alicia Keys on Breastfeeding

Well, well, well, look who has come out of the woodwork to talk about her experience with breastfeeding. It's none other than Ms. Alicia Keys! Now, back in October of 2010 when she had her son Egypt, I figured she wasn't breastfeeding. She never made mention of it in any interviews and she was seen out on the town sans baby frequently in the early weeks after his birth. I assumed she wasn't nursing and to be honest, I wasn't really checking for her anyway (yes, I'm Team Mashonda all day).

I guess Alicia couldn't stand to see Beyonce get all of the breastfeeding shine, so when she recently sat down with Lifetime for an episode of The Conversation, she had this to say:


On how her body has changed after she had her son:

I think that it’s changed in so many ways. I was thinking about this the other day; we were just saying that your body does things that it would have never done before. It’s a miracle and incredible; bones and structures of your body move to new places! It’s like how?

Then I also breastfed; I don’t know if it’s a total myth but when you breastfeed you kind of lose weight quicker.



On breastfeeding:

I loved it. Well, there were a couple of things no one told you. I took this whole class too which I thought was really good because I think a lot of people think you’re just supposed to have this natural instinct that’s suppose to happen out of thin air. There’s a technique to learn and if you don’t know it, it’s not your fault. I was glad I did that because I felt kind of prepared a little bit. The whole engorgement thing, no one mentioned that part.
I remember I was in the bed and I couldn’t move because it hurts and there is no way around it. I delivered naturally and I kept asking myself, “What is wrong with you? You spent hours and hours in labor and delivered naturally but you can’t take some [milk coming in.]" They skipped that part; they didn’t tell me about that one.




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Quote of the Day: Beyonce on Breastfeeding

From this week's People magazine with Beyonce on the cover as the 2012 World's Most Beautiful Woman.

"I lost most of my weight from breastfeeding and I encourage women to do it; It's just so good for the baby and good for yourself."

A nod to the breastfeeding community and all of the kudos she got for nursing in public? I'd say so.

A good quote in a major magazine about breastfeeding from the world's biggest pop star. I'll take it.
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Beyonce Breastfed...... For 10 Weeks

People magazine has selected Beyonce as their Most Beautiful Woman for 2012. It's not unexpected, as Bey is gorgeous and talented and has had an awesome year. Her album 4 was lauded by critics and of course, she became a mother in January. Celebrity moms are en vogue in a way they have been before. From bumpwatch to birth and breastfeeding, motherhood has made even the most D list celebrities household names. Hell we've all seen how motherhood resurrected the careers of many of the stars of our childhood like Mayim Bialik, Alyssa Milano and Soleil Moon Frye. Celeb moms write books and blogs, get new TV shows and papped at the park. So it's no surprise People would choose to celebrate Beyonce, a huge star who's become even more famous since becoming a mom.

Of course the biggest story surrounding Beyonce in the past few months has been her nursing daughter Blue Ivy in public. We all wondered if the gossip was indeed true. Could Beyonce really be breastfeeding?

Well, the news outlets must have gotten an advanced copy of the People magazine (it hits newsstands tomorrow) because E! featured this story today.





It seems Beyonce is being uncharacteristically candid and discussing breastfeeding. So there you have it from the horse's mouth: Beyonce breastfed. For 10 weeks.

So as breastfeeding advocates and black lactivists, how do you feel about this? Is it still a coup now that we know she only breastfed for a little over two months, and it would seem primarily as a means to lose weight? Is this still a win?

In many ways I think breastfeeding advocates can let the perfect be the enemy of the good. After Beyonce breastfed Blue, it was covered in all of the major outlets and EVERYONE on planet Earth was discussing breastfeeding for weeks. That's a score, in my opinion. But in many ways, this stings. We've held her up as a breastfeeding role model and now it feels like she never really was. She wanted to lose the 50 pounds she gained during her pregnancy as quickly as possible and she happily switched to formula at 10 weeks. It's not really the vision we had of her, right? I know many of us were hoping to see Beyonce breastfeed for at least 6 months exclusively. And how cool would it have been to have a toddler nursing Blue?

Of course it's none of our business how long Beyonce breastfed or why, but it is interesting that she didn't even make it to 12 weeks, just like the average mom in the US. Around the time that women return to paid work, breastfeeding dries up because even with workplace pumping accommodations, it's still hard to make breastfeeding and work WORK. So many of us, myself included, enjoy our work but still cried into our pillows when we had to pack our babies up and send them to daycare when our leave was over. Maybe we didn't want to stay home permanently, but we did want more time. At least 6 months or a year to be with our babies and nurse them and not have to struggle with pumping. And here's Beyonce, a woman like us who loves both her baby and her job, who could make the choices we can't.....yet didn't. She could take Blue everywhere and if a photoshoot ran long so she could breastfeed, who would complain? Most of us can't take our babies to work and if we are late because the baby needed to eat we could end up out on our asses.


It's kind of baffling to me that I live in a world where Mariah Carey breastfed twins longer than Bey breastfed, but I've had to repeat my new mantra over and over again since I heard the news: Not my body and not my baby. But if I'm being honest, I'm still a little annoyed.

So how are you feeling about Beyonce breastfeeding for 10 weeks?

Beyonce, Blue, Breastfeeding & Blacktating

Did you hear the good news? It seems Beyonce is indeed breastfeeding her newborn baby girl, Blue. A waiter tipped off celebrity magazine US Weekly that Beyonce nursed her baby while out to lunch with hubby Jay-Z. What started off as a blurb on a website for celeb gossip has taken the world by storm.

First there was the awful post on Hollyscoop, likening breastfeeding in public to being milked like a cow and slinging snot at the table. Of course the words "whipping them out" also appeared. For the first time in the history of the Internet, the comments on a breastfeeding in public post were full of win. Moms descended on the post, letting the author know that nursing at a restaurant is natural, legal and of course perfectly appropriate. The smackdown was so harsh the author eventually edited out the most offensive parts of the piece.

By the next day the story had been picked up by ABC News, who quoted veteran breastfeeding experts Drs. Ruth Lawrence and Alison Stuebe. There was even a quote from breastfeeding advocate Emma Kwasnica who you may know for spearheading the movement to get Facebook to stop deleting images of women breastfeeding their babies. Although I was thrilled with such mainstream coverage of Beyonce nursing in public, I was more than a bit confused as to why ABC decided to interview these three women.

Let's see, the hugest celebrity on the planet, who happens to be black, is breastfeeding in public and we interview three white women, one of whom isn't even American, and don't mention race. Color me confused.

So as I am apt to do, I took to Twitter to vent.

Shortly thereafter, Kimberly Sears Allers of Mochamanual.com, published a piece on the same topic. In her post, Dear White Women: Beyonce is OUR Breastfeeding Moment. Please Step Aside she writes,

Meanwhile, with all the news reports about Beyonce, and all the breastfeeding “advocates” talking about its impact on the nursing world, not one advocate mentioned the particular significance to black women–which is so striking since many claim to be interested in our breastfeeding plight.

Shame on you.

The "shame" didn't stop there. Not only did many breastfeeding advocates insist that Beyonce breastfeeding in public was just as much their moment as ours (it's not) they also allowed their fans to post offensive, borderline racist screed on their Facebook pages. Instead of our "allies" rushing to our defense, I was told it was my job to educate the ignorant (it's not) and that my time would be better spent defending the WHO Code instead of criticizing the breastfeeding community for not putting their money where their mouth is when it comes to conversations on race. You can imagine how well that went over.

Kimberly said there was no mainstream press that reached out to an African-American women for her perspective, but that's not true. Both Time and USA Today's writers quoted me for their pieces on Beyonce breastfeeding Blue Ivy (my words even made their way in the March 19, 2012 print edition of Time). Both writers underscored how huge this is for the black community because of our lower initiation rates, and the level of Beyonce's celebrity. This is way bigger than even Angelina Jolie actually breastfeeding on the cover of W magazine and we don't even have proof, photographic or otherwise, that it even happened!

There is no way to deny that Beyonce breastfeeding hasn't had a huge impact. There was an hours-long conversation on black Twitter about breastfeeding in public after these headlines. Yet I cannot tell you how many white advocates insist that it isn't a big deal, or at least shouldn't be. Strangely enough, whenever I see posts about other celebrities who are breastfeeding and are, let's face it, downright D list, I've seen nothing but praise. Even posts about Jenna Elfman haven't elicited any anti-Xenu snark, for God's sake. Yet it's all eye-rolls and move along, nothing to see here's when BEYONCE breastfeeds in a restaurant? Excuse me if I can't help but think that race is playing a part in the attitudes and responses from moms I've seen online.

Still, I'm thrilled. The past few weeks have been amazing for breastfeeding and I give Beyonce all the credit. This story got picked up in major black interest publications from The Grio to Vibe and Essence magazine. The comments that I saw on those pieces were so positive and encouraging. It was so wonderful to see our community rallying around our girl, and to hear from black moms about how much they loved breastfeeding their babies.

This week really showed black lactivists what this community thinks of us and the work we're doing. Because believe me, these folks are quick to trot out the the statistics on how low our breastfeeding rates our. If Beyonce had mixed a bottle of formula at that table, everyone would have come out of the woodwork to say how sad it was, but not surprising since she is black and this is a problem for us. But when she breastfeeds we aren't supposed to celebrate this as our moment?

Right.

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Is Beyonce Breastfeeding?

On the red carpet at the recent BET Honors show in DC, Beyonce's former Destiny's Child bandmate Michelle was interviewed and of course she was asked about baby Blue. 

“We’ve been doing everything, whatever [Beyonce] needs," said Williams. Though there is one thing the ladies can’t help their superstar friend with. “No breastfeeding,” joked Williams. “Ain’t no milk coming out.”



Beyonce breastfeeding? It sounds like she is! Here's hoping she confirms soon, as it will be the culmination of every black lactivist's wet dreams.  

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2011 Celebrity Breastfeeding Round Up

2011 was a celebrity baby bonanza! I could barely keep up with all of the bump watches, eventual confirmations and new bundles of joy! 2011 was also a banner year for black celebrity breastfeeding, with some of my favorites being very vocal about their nursing experiences.

First up was Laila Ali who gave birth to daughter Sydney in April. She gave a fantastic interview to Best for Babes on having a natural birth, and losing weight in a healthy manner while breastfeeding.

Shortly after, the Queen Diva Mariah Carey gave birth to twins Monroe and Moroccan. Of course there had to be extra drama surrounding Mimi's nursing experience. Apparently someone at the hospital called Child Protective Services after Mariah was spotted having a Guiness to help with milk production on the advice of a nurse. We found out later during a 20/20 interview with Barbara Walters that Mariah nursed the twins for three months.

In May,  Ananda Lewis welcomed a baby boy at home and tweeted about using cloth diapers and breastfeeding. Look out for the video of her homebirth, which she's currently editing.

Tia Mowry welcomed son Cree in June and gushed about breastfeeding all over the place! Although Tia was hoping for a natural birth, she ended up with a c-section because Cree was breech. Thankfully breastfeeding worked out and Tia has even combined nursing with working by pumping. Remember when she forced twin sister Tamera to taste her milk? Hilarious!

Finally, actress Essence Atkins gave birth to her first son on Christmas Day. She recently sat down with Essence magazine and told them her son Varro is a breastfeeding champ. "He knew what to do from the moment they put him on me!" she joked.

So what black celebrities can we look forward to seeing breastfeed in 2012? Perhaps now that she's married and an aunt, Tamera Mowry will follow in her twin sister's footsteps and get pregnant this year. Newlywed singers Monica Brown and Keyshia Cole are also likely suspects. And as prolific as Swizzy has been, it's probably time for Alicia Keys to pop out another one.

Of course the world is waiting with baited breath for the birth of the heir to throne. Rumor has it that Beysus may have already given birth to The Golden Child and that we may catch a glipse of the babe on Monday. Of course if Beyonce decides to breastfeed and is vocal about how great it is, I think it will be a HUGE boon for black breastfeeding. I guess we shall see soon.......

Tamera Mowry Drinks Sister Tia's Breastmilk

Have you been watching the new reality show, Tia & Tamera, that follows twin sisters Tia and Tamera Mowry? In the series, Tia is expecting her first child, while Tamera is planning her wedding. Throughout the season we've seen Tia planning for the birth of her baby by interviewing a doula, considering a home birth and talking about breastfeeding. Unfortunately a breech baby necessitated a hospital birth and a C-section for Tia, which was documented in the series finale which aired recently. We get to see the birth of baby Cree, as well as their early days at home.

At one point, Tia, who is pumping for the baby, highly encourages her sister Tamera to taste her milk.





What do you think, would you taste your sister's milk? I don't have a sister and although I did taste my own milk, I am not sure I'd taste someone else's.


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Quote of the Day: Tia Mowry on breastfeeding

I shared this on my Facebook page, but I know not everyone checks in there and I thought it was worth a posting of its own.

Tia Mowry on breastfeeding new baby, Cree.

"I love it. It is the one time we can connect and just spend some quiet time together. I just fall more and more in love with him when I do so. Rubbing his hair and seeing him smile just melts my heart. He also seems most content when nursing. Maybe because he is so close to my heart."



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New Crunchy Black Mom on the Block: Ananda Lewis

You remember Ananda Lewis from BET's Teen Summit and and MTV's Total Request Live? I hadn't thought about her in forever until I saw she updated her Twitter stream to announce the birth of her new baby boy. Ananda tweeted:

"Took me 9 3/4 months to grow a baby, 14 hours of labor and 18 minutes of pushing (at home & drug-free) to get him into the world, and every minute of the rest of my life to kiss on him NONSTOP! I love being a mommy!! Looking forward to my 1st Mother's Day with my kid!"

Drug-free home birth? Check! Cloth diapers? Check!

I'm guessing tweets about breastfeeding her new baby boy can't be far away. Congrats, Ananda! Welcome to the Crunchy Black Mom Club!




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Erykah Badu breastfeeding daughter in music video

Here's a video of Erykah Badu in the studio singing "Fall in Love." It appears to be a "making of" video and Erykah's boyfriend Jay Electronica and daughter Mars make an appearance. We also see Erykah nursing Mars several times. Enjoy!



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Model Jourdan Dunn: Breastfeeding Mom

Model Jourdan Dunn is on the cover of the Spring issue of i-D magazine. In an interview, the 20-year-old single mom discusses what the last year of her life has been like since having a son. On losing the weight and returning to top model form quickly she says, "To be honest, I didn't work out or follow an eating plan. I was loving my new body so much I was trying my hardest to keep the baby weight on! I breastfed for nine months though and people say breastfeeding helps you lose weight."

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2010 Celebrity Breastfeeding Round-Up

This year, lots of celebrities of color had babies and many of them were also breastfed. Here's a round-up of the celebs who gave their babies the best start in life in 2010.


Christina Milian gave birth to baby girl Violet in February. Christina initially said her goal was to breastfeed for one year and she credited the breastfeeding with helping her get back her bangin' body post-baby.






Paula Patton and hubby Robin Thicke welcomed son Julian Fuego in April. Robin talked about being on diaper duty and letting mom Paula handle the rest. No official talk about breastfeeding, but I'm just going to go ahead and call this one for Team Titty.




















Reality TV star Phaedra Parks gave birth to her baby boy Aiden in May. We got to see the Real Housewives of Atlanta cast member discuss her plans to breastfeed this season, as well as nurse her baby several times  on the show. Although Phaedra seemed totally clueless about breastfeeding, I'm pleased to see she figured it all out, and as of December was still nursing.

In June, actor Sean Patrick Thomas and his wife, Aonika Laurent Thomas, welcomed their second baby, a boy named Luc. Aonika is a veteran nursing mom, so I'm guessing she also breastfed baby Luc.

Keyshia Cole and Daniel "Boobie" Gibson welcomes baby Daniel Hiram, Jr. in March. No word on whether or not Keyshia breastfed, but we never saw the baby with a bottle and she was quoted as saying, "I’m so blessed to have him. I said God always comes on time because at that time, I was going through that with family, I was so hurt from it. Me being pregnant and coming to terms with myself and understanding that I’m having a baby now. So now I have to give my child everything that I wanted my mom to give me that I didn’t receive." So with no official word on breastfeeding, I'd like to assume the best and say yes.

I just find it very annoying that I have to even guess. When black celebrities have babies, why don't get they asked about breastfeeding like everyone else? One of the most famous singers in the world, Alicia Keys, had a baby in October and not one word about breastfeeding. While I am 99.9% sure she chose to bottle-feed, I am still shocked that the topic never came up. Where's our Angelina Jolie, our Jenna Elfman, our Christina Aguilera?  Hell, I'd even take a Gisele-level obnoxious statement from a black celebrity at this point.

Are you seriously going to make me hold my breath for Beyonce?


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Christina Milian: Breastfeeding Mama!

Christina Milian and her husband, music producer The Dream, welcomed a baby girl named Violet on February 26th and have shared some pictures of her with US Weekly.

Photo by Larsen & Talbert, US Weekly

OK, all together now..."Aaaawww!" Baby Violet is so cute and looks like a little diva already! Christina says she has a ton of personality and laughs all the time. She also says she plans to breastfeed for a year (YAY!) and that she's "surprised how hungry she is. Like, how do I keep up?"

I think it's interesting how people are generally surprised at some of the normal behaviors of breastfed infants. We've all been so accustomed to how formula fed babies act, sometimes we forget that it's perfectly normal for a breastfed infant to eat quite frequently, especially in the first few weeks. I think all of us worried about our milk supplies in the beginning, but I am sure Christina and Violet will be just fine. Keep bringing that baby to the breast and nursing her on cue, Christina. I hope you are able to meet your breastfeeding goal and that you and Violet enjoy a wonderful nursing relationship.

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