Does Your Pump Talk to You?

I had heard women say before that their pumps talked to them. I never noticed it with Miles but this time around the pump has a lot to say.

I'm traveling for work today and pumping in one of my employees' offices. My pump keeps saying, "Stay home! Stay home! Stay home!" Last week as I watched the drips barely coat the bottom of the bottle it kept saying, "You suck! You suck! You suck!"

Does your pump talk to you? And is she as much of a bitch as mine is?

Pumpin Ain't Easy

Most moms eventually return to work and with the sad 12 week leave (or less) that most of us are entitled to in the US, if you plan on breastfeeding for the recommended first year of life you're going to need a pump.

There are tons of blog posts, books, forums and websites dedicated to giving moms tips on how to combine breastfeeding with work. Make sure you buy a good double electric pump! Always keep extra storage bags and pump parts at work! Here's how to talk to your boss about setting up a space for you to pump! These bottles are best for breastfed babies and don't forget the slow flow nipples! Wow, pumping at work is now protected by law! And on and on and on.

What is implied in these blog posts and message boards and websites is that if you do it right and have all the accoutrements, that you can totally work full time outside of the home and continue to breastfeed your baby. I'm here to tell you that is a lie. Even under the best conditions, with a supportive boss and co-workers, a door that locked on my own office, hell, even being the boss myself! and owning top of the line breast pumps and even renting a hospital grade pump..... I couldn't pump successfully.

This lie that breast pumps quickly, easily and efficiently put milk into bottles is so pervasive that every mom asks for a pump on her baby registry and everyone assumes she will use it so her husband/partner/mom can give the baby a bottle. Many women who find the idea of breastfeeding icky say they'll just pump and give the baby breast milk in a bottle.

Thirty minutes of hard work pumping BOTH breasts

Let me let you in on a secret: pumps don't magically suck out all of the milk from your breasts. YOU have to actually have a letdown for the pump to extract the milk. And many women simply cannot letdown for a machine the way they can for their own sweet baby. This means that you can have a full milk supply and not pump enough for your baby. It also means your supply will diminish over time because you are not removing enough milk, but in the meantime you can suffer from plugged ducts and mastitis until your supply regulates. No pump is as efficient as your baby but for some women the pump is practically worthless.

And before you say, "You should hand express!" let me stop you and say I cannot for the life of me figure out how hand expression works. I've watched all the videos and I've never been able to get more than a few drops out that way.

How did we get here? How did we get to a place where everyone assumes pumping is easy and of course they will be able to maintain a full supply when they return to work? Almost every woman I know has really struggled to maintain breastfeeding while working and the main reason is they couldn't pump at work what their baby needed at daycare. Some did OK until the infamous "six month slump" but many, like me, found their supplies dwindled down to nothing in mere weeks.

With Miles I barely made it two months before he was almost exclusively getting formula at daycare. Thankfully I was able to take advantage of my employer's generous 6 month leave so he was nearly nine months old and so in love with breastfeeding that my boobs still made enough milk to nurse in the morning and before bed. He was sleeping through the night but got a bottle or two of formula a day in addition to solid foods and nursing a few times on the weekends. It wasn't ideal and I was annoyed but he went on to nurse for 3 years and overall I think he got mostly mama milk for the first year and I'm OK with how things turned out.

But Aminah isn't even four months old and I have no freezer stash and we are already having to supplement. She is nowhere near sleeping through the night and we haven't started solids. My supply is slowing down and I can easily see her being fully formula fed by 6 months. That is NOT OK with me. It's actually beyond fucked up. I do not want my baby getting formula when, if she were with me there'd be no need for it. I make plenty of milk for her and she's happy and healthy. I don't want to have to get up in the middle of the night to fix bottles, I don't want to jeopardize her health with formula at such a young age and I don't want her rejecting the breast for the bottle, even if I could pump enough for her which I can't.

If she ends up being a formula fed baby I won't feel guilty but I will feel angry. Who decided that we should be fighting for the right to pump at work instead of fighting for paid maternity leave? And who keeps perpetuating the myth that every woman can pump and provide milk for her baby? You can do everything "right" and still end up failing. And THAT'S what truly sucks.

Louisville Black Breastfeeding PSAs

The city of Louisville, KY has created four new breastfeeding PSA as part of its Mayor's Healthy Hometown Movement "Good for your body, great for EVERYbody" campaign. The aim is to make Louisville one of the healthiest cities in the country, a lofty goal. The PSAs focus on one family and show the benefits of breastfeeding for mom and baby, and how dads and grandmas can support mom to make breastfeeding successful. You can check out all of the videos below.





It looks like they took a page out of the etrade baby commercials playbook to create the ads. I like that the city understands the importance of breastfeeding in creating a healthier community. I'm sure some people may criticize them for showing bottlefeeding in the "Big Momma" and "Dad" breastfeeding videos, and encouraging moms to use covers when nursing in public, but I think the reality is that most moms do return to work and use bottles and many moms don't feel comfortable breastfeeding in public without some sort of cover up. And no matter how many times breastfeeding advocates say it's not true, most people still think dads and grandmas need to give the baby a bottle in order to bond with her. Many people still believe breastfeeding in public is nasty, with or without a cover, so I like the message that it's perfectly natural. Since we know how important support is from partners and mothers, particularly in the black community, I think the ads work well. I like the promotion of breastfeeding as a family affair, because moms really do need to be encouraged and supported by loved ones if they are going to breastfeed successfully. So what do you think of these ads? Thumbs up or down?

*Hat tip to The Motherwear Breastfeeding Blog for the heads up about these videos


Never want to miss an update of the Blacktating Blog? Subscribe here. Follow me on Twitter- http://www.twitter.com/blacktating

Guest Post: Becoming Your Own Advocate

I'm pleased to present this guest post by Angel, a mom who had to become her own advocate in order to continue pumping at work. Her story is really inspirational and shows how one mom can make a difference for all the women at her job.

Working in the Health Department of a community college, and having a boss who had exclusively breastfed all 3 of her own children, I did not anticipate any barriers to pumping at work after returning from my maternity leave. My boss was gracious enough to provide me with a temporary office, so that I did not have to worry about finding a place to pump, or interrupting my work for frequent pump breaks. As a lactivist and aspiring lactation consultant, breastfeeding was near and dear to my heart, and I was so proud to be working full-time, and still be able to breastfeed my son with no need for supplements.

However, one day out of the blue, the dean called me into her office and proceeded to reprimand me for taking excessive breaks and violating college policy. Apparently, a coworker of mine had called the dean and reported that I was spending 2 hours and 45 minutes each day pumping! This was such a ridiculous overstatement, that I thought she must be joking, but to my horror, the dean not only believed the report, but threatened to cut my hours and pay in order to make up for the time I was allegedly spending.

I was speechless; the room was spinning. I saw all my intentions and personal goals thrown out the window, along with my innocent baby’s right to be breastfed. I started worrying about how our family would keep up our budget and get by with a reduction in pay.

Then I snapped back to reality and realized that this woman obviously had no idea what a huge can of worms she’d just opened. I told her that it was my right under Illinois law to pump at work, and that there was no way I could be in violation of college policy, since the college HAD no policy on this—I had checked. Furthermore, I couldn’t be in so-called violation, since the break times reported weren’t in any way accurate. I told her that she could check with my boss or any of my coworkers, if she needed confirmation. She seemed momentarily stunned into silence. I told her that I would email her the information on Illinois law, and promised to continue to keep my break times within the allotted time.

I was furious! I was shaking by the time I got back to my office, and of course, the coworker who’d ratted me out had called out sick that day. I racked my brain, trying to figure out how in the world she’d come up with 2 hours & 45 minutes, when at that time, I was only taking 2-10 minute breaks and a 25-minute lunch, which totaled up to the 45-minute lunch afforded to full-time employees. Even when I first came back from leave, and was using a dying secondhand pump, it was probably an hour & a half a day, max. Plus I worked through most of my pumping, so it wasn’t even exactly a “break”. To make matters worse, my other coworkers were all privy to what this meeting was about, since she’d been complaining about me to all of them. I realized at that moment that my boobs had been the latest topic of discussion around the office. I was mortified.

My boss was beside herself at what my coworker had done, & promised to back me if I ever needed her testimony. I contacted the college’s union rep, but there was no union available to classified staff. She did sympathize with me, however, and advised me not to allow the charges to go unrefuted. I decided to type up a letter of rebuttal. I submitted this to HR, along with a signed statement by my boss confirming my actual break times spent. In the letter, I wrote that I was dismayed that nursing mothers would now be portrayed in a negative light, as it had been my intention to schedule a positive, proactive meeting with HR to set up lactation rooms and implement a program and official policy at the college. I attached a copy of the Business Case for Breastfeeding which is a wonderfully thorough & educational packet for businesses on how and why to become a breastfeeding-friendly employer.

I set up a meeting with the director of HR, pleaded my case, and expressed my interest in creating a lactation program & space at the college. She expressed regret at my circumstances, but didn’t seem to understand the importance of a lactation program, or care much about finding space (even though I did offer to do all the work). She hadn’t even read the packet I’d sent. She requested a month to “research”. A month turned into 2, and before I knew it, she’d retired.

In the meantime, my coworker and I had not spoken in over 2 months. Workdays were horribly awkward and stressful, and pumping at work was now a nightmare, knowing that she was timing me and reporting back to the dean with her “findings”. My milk supply took a beating, and although I knew damn well from all my research that I could boost my supply by relaxing, I was incapable of doing that. I spent most of my breaks crying and wishing I could be anywhere else.

After weeks of depression, stress, and anxiety, I couldn’t take it anymore. I decided to take the high road and asked my coworker out for a cup of coffee. We addressed our issues and came to somewhat of an understanding. Work slowly become bearable and I found the strength I needed to follow through with my goals for the college.

I scheduled a meeting with the new director of HR, and offered my assistance in starting a committee, finding space, and handling the logistics myself. She, like the previous director, had not even bothered to read the packet I’d sent, and just couldn’t imagine that there was a big enough need to justify creating a lactation room, let alone 7 rooms campus-wide, as I’d suggested. She insisted that there was no space on campus, but I gave her the names of several college employees who’d suggested places for such a room, and a list of pregnant employees who would use such a room if it were available. I told her stories of what other nursing mothers on campus had gone through in order to breastfeed (discrimination, harassment, pressure to wean, isolation, etc.), and insisted that it wasn’t right.

I left the meeting thinking that she, too, had blown me off. But a week later, I got an email letting me know that she’d found a room, and was working with maintenance to make the space appropriate! I was incredulous! In the 30+ years since the college had opened, no one had been successful in getting a lactation room built, despite countless requests. But now, we had one! I felt nothing but exhilarating joy at the thought that all future mothers on campus would not have to go through what I did just to breastfeed their babies. I had thought this an impossible situation, but somehow, I got someone to listen.

Finding a room turned out to be much easier than HR had anticipated and they’re now willing to work with me on creating a lactation program and an official college policy. I’m so happy that some good came out of this horrible situation, and that other nursing mothers will benefit from my experience. If I could offer any advice to moms out there, it would be to educate yourself about your rights and the law, be proactive about getting your employer’s support, and don’t give up at the first sign of resistance. Most employers find that accommodating their nursing employees was surprisingly easy—it’s just getting them to agree to do it initially that can be tricky. You shouldn’t have to deal with discrimination, and if you don’t fight it when it happens to you, you’re also enabling your employer to mistreat the next nursing mom.

You have resources! Contact La Leche League and a leader would be happy to work with you or your employer to make your company breastfeeding-friendly. All the literature is on your side! Do what’s best for you and your baby and advocate for breastfeeding whenever possible! I’m so glad that I did, and I’m happy to report that my son is one year old today, and is still a happy booby baby, with no intention of stopping any time soon.

Angel is a wife and mother of two who works full-time and attends classes part-time at the same college. Soon to pursue further education as a lactation consultant, Angel currently assists new mothers as a post partum doula while also raising awareness as an unwavering breastfeeding advocate. When given a moment to relax, she enjoys napping, reading, playing board games with friends, and beating her husband at Guitar Hero.

Want to learn more about lactation programs on US college campuses? Click here.

Never want to miss an update of the Blacktating Blog? Subscribe here.
Twitter me- I'm blacktating