I was reading an article about Iron Chef regular Cat Cora the other day on the Celebrity Baby Blog. Cat is 8 months pregnant and her wife, Jennifer, gave birth to a baby boy in April (Jennifer also gave birth to their first two kids, ages 5 and 2). Like many successful career women, Cat doesn't plan on quitting her job after the birth of her baby. In fact, she and Jennifer planned their babies to be born so close together so they could be sort of like twins and Cat could return to work shortly after their birth and Jennifer can breastfeed them both!
Is this not the ultimate set-up? How many of us in hetero relationships wished our husbands or boyfriends could take over some of the breastfeeding? What if you could be like Cat and bypass pumping and storing milk and know your baby could still have breast milk? I know there are milk banks and friends who cross-nurse, but this arrangement is so easy and beneficial to all. Has anyone ever heard of another lesbian couple who has done this?
Cat is living the dream of successful business women the world over who are always wishing they had a wife. Most men who are successful and wealthy and have kids have a wife at home who is holdin' it down, cooking, cleaning and raising the kids. Women at the top of their games either don't have kids or have a husband who is a stay-at-home dad. Cat is seriously getting the best of both worlds. (Although imagine your partner pregnant at the same time as you...who is going to bring you ice cream and rub your feet when your partner is just as tired and swollen as you are?)
Anyway, I also read that the "Pregnant Man" Thomas Beatie gave birth to his second baby today. His wife Nancy is breastfeeding the baby boy, just as she breastfed their first baby who was born last June. Not the same situation as Thomas had his breasts removed and can't breastfeed, so his wife is taking on all of the nursing duties, but it's wonderful that they obviously believe breastfeeding is important. Nancy had to have gone through induced lactation to nurse originally, but she may still be breastfeeding their first baby and tandem nursing.
I think both of these situations are incredibly cool. I love the idea of people creating non-traditional families on their own terms. Perhaps because I was raised in a non-traditional home, I like the idea of kids in the future not having to feel weird or get picked on because they have two moms or their parents are different colors or their dad was born a woman. It makes me optimistic when I see stories like this treated with respect on mainstream sites like Celebrity Baby Blog that we're moving in the right direction. And of course any plug for breastfeeding is always a bonus in my book!
Never want to miss an update of the Blacktating Blog? Subscribe here.
Twitter me- I'm blacktating
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Lesbian, Transgender & Breastfeeding, Oh My!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
11 comments:
We discussed the possibility of Shrike inducing lactation so we could both breastfeed, but ultimately decided it would be too difficult. As it turns out, considering Peeper's rough start, I can't imagine we would've followed through if we'd planned on it.
I do know of some other couples (through their blogs) who had babies at the same time (or roughly the same time) which I just can not imagine.
If both partners are pregnant, who is left to be the sane one?
And change the litter box?
(Because all lesbians have cats, you know ;-) )
I've also read of couple in which the non-birth mom does some comfort nursing on occassion, although she's not lactating.
Shrike attempted that a couple of times, but as soon as Peeper realized there was nothing coming out, she put the kibosh on that plan.
On a related note - while it might or might not come in handy to have a spare set of breasts around the house, it was DEFINITELY handy for us to have a spare set of ovaries!
After 5 unsuccessful rounds of IUI, Peeper was conceived by IVF using Shrike's eggs and, obviously, I carried her.
It wasn't cheap, and I had to come to terms with "failing" to conceive with my eggs, but we are both SO glad that it turned out this way.
I love that we both have a biological connection to Peeper, and I love that I had Shrike's baby.
Yes, that was my thought, too. I mean, if two are pregnant in the same house, who is the voice of reason? I had a very easy pregnancy and even I was a mess at the end. My feet were so swollen I could barely walk, I was exhausted, none of my clothes fit, etc. It was mind-numbing by the time I hit 42 weeks and still didn't have a baby!
If my man could even do some of the comfort nursing it would be a huge boon. But like Peeper, I don't think my son would go for it anyway.
I think that the lesbain couple who bring their son to me for daycare have an interesting set up although I have been to shy to ask out right. The moms are different races (Caucasian and First Nations) and their son is First Nations. I think the First Nations mom gave birth to him but the Caucasian mom breastfeeds. She might be the birth mom who just received a First NAtion's man's sperm but he looks so much like the FN mom, not in just the colouring, that I am pretty sure I have the set up correct. I think they rock!
This is a great set-up! I love it. My son is 2 1/2 and still breastfeeding. He got caught in the formula web for about the first 6 weeks of his life when he just wasn't latching on (a pediatrician friend of mine told me that babies sucking mechanism just becomes stronger at about 2 months) but has been nursing ever since. Although it's dissipated quite a bit - usually now just at nap time, night time and maybe once or twice in the day time. My biggest hurdle will be getting him to sleep without nursing. He's never really done that (except in the car seat while I'm driving). I'm hoping he'll wean himself at some point in the next year or two, but if he doesn't, I guess I'll have to do that. Not looking forward to that... ...Great Blog!!
I hate to overgeneralize, but doesn't it seem like lesbians have more egalitarian relationships? Maybe this is true of all non-traditional families. Just seems like more of a willingness to work together and do a little bit of everything to get the job done.
My friend and her partner had this set up. As she put it, "It was great to have four working boob in the house."
Dear friend,
Consider to join us for A Wonderous Woman Retreat
on August 13,14,and 15
The Wonderous Woman retreat program leads and encourages every woman to connect to all facets of her purpose and value. Our approach is to create experiential retreats in beautiful venues where you can connect to your mind, body and spirit.
It's easy to take care of everyone else in our lives,
but we tend to forget about ourselves.
I have another one for you.
I am living in a triad (MFF) relationship, and my female partner just gave birth 3 months ago. I induced lacation to help her out, so she could have a break from breastfeeding, but we still have a bio man around to take out the garbage. I am also still nursing (once per day?) my bio daughter, age 3.
My wife and I are trying to get her pregnant right now (two weeks and we'll know). I think I would love to help breastfeed, but she's not really into the idea. I'm trying to find some resources on whether two partner breastfeeding is good, bad or pointless. Any help?
I am living in a married triad (MFF) and have been cross-nursing babies with my co-wife. This has been a very nice and convenient experience to the whole family. There have been at least two occasions when both I and my co-wife had been carrying simultaneously for several months.
Post a Comment